the first of august, twenty-nineteen

It’s the start of a new month and I couldn’t be happier to have a fresh start. The past couple months were particularly hard as everything changed around me. I never quite felt like myself and I struggled to find a sense of grounding. But with this new month, the end of eclipse season, and the end of mercury retrograde, (I know, astrology talk and I swear I never blamed my issues on a fucking planet appearing to be moving backwards but not actually moving backwards but I fucking felt it okay!) I finally feel like the energy is slowly shifting for the better. I’m finally letting go of all the things I’d been trying to hold onto so tightly—all the things that so badly wanted me to let go—and I’m letting life take its course.

It’s my final month in London before I head back to Perth and I’ve decided to make the most of it. I’m finally getting around to going to all the places that have been saved in my Google maps and I’m taking more photos and I’m going to the exhibitions and watching the films and reading the books.

These past few months I’ve been learning a lot about who I am and what I value and how I’ve changed since being in a “proper” relationship for the first time. I already knew what it meant to focus all my energy into myself, so this year I learnt what it was like to focus all my energy into a relationship. And now—I’m understanding what it means to have a balance between the two.

As heartbroken as I am to be leaving London and as hard as it was to reach this point of acceptance, I’m excited for what’s to come next. What that will be, I have no idea. But I know that my time in London is done for now, and it’s time to move onto the next chapter. There’s one thing I have right now that not many people get in a place like this—time. So, these last few weeks in London will act as a sort of “experiential love letter” to the city, as I say goodbye (for now) to the place I called home for the past 2 years.