Before

There is so much magic in the moments before. Before the lights go on and everyone is there to see you. Look behind the curtains, where it’s madness and mess. With trips and drops and falls and crashes. Be in the overwhelm of not knowing what will happen but hoping for the best. Because when the lights do finally turn on—you are at the end.

Be in the Before. Be in the Beginning.

—London, UK, 1 October 2017

 

In Complete Darkness

It’s like, the lights turn off
And I’m left with
Only my thoughts
In complete darkness.
Thoughts of you, you, you
And I don’t know what to do
Because you’re not here
For me to be clear
On making sense
Of all of this.
So, I hate it.
I hate that I lay
In complete darkness
Thinking only of you.

—London, UK, 29 August 2017

 

Fly

We’ve passed the clouds
We’re looking down
Free from bounds
It’s blue skies now.

—On a plane, London to Stockholm, 25 July 2017

4:13

Nights are now:
Restless sleep
And multiple dreams,
Waking up at
Four-thirteen,
Thoughts revolved
Around you.

—Perth, WA, 17 July 2017

5 AM

The rain falls lightly
Time stands still
You hold me in your arms
Whisper sweet words in my ear
Blanket wrapped around my back
Draped over shoulders
5 AM air
Kiss me all over.

—Perth, WA, 14 July 2017

Skin to Skin

Skin to skin
Now one within
This home we built
Together.
Bodies combined
Can’t find
Where we
Start
And where we
End.
Let’s never part,
Let’s never leave,
You and I
Are all we need.

—Perth, WA, 4 July 2017

Weightless

I never knew
what it meant
to be at home
until I met you.
You showed me
how to care
for others
and for myself.
The heaviness
on my chest
has been        lifted.
Now—
I am weightless.

—Perth, WA, 3 July 2017

Suburban Skies

We stop and stare at
suburban skies
with sober eyes,
sharing a cigarette
for two.
Our only focus—
getting out.
Out of a dull blue
town, offering nothing more
than safety, as we grow
restless and yearn for
the mess.

—Perth, WA, 30 June 2017

Without an Ounce of Regret

It would start with something sarcastic, a free drink here and there. You'd see the way they looked at you, desperate for your lips while you stared down at your straw, stirring circles in your drink. You'd make them wait. You'd make them wait a little longer. Until you were ready. Or drunk. Or both. Curiosity was enough in those moments of shallow connection and all it took was one question—"Do you want to get out of here?"

You were a romantic yet all you would get were empty words. Generic compliments were kept in the back of your mind but you knew it had all been said before, only to someone else. So, all you'd do is smile. And you were okay with that, because you'd done this all before, and it had become an accidental routine. You'd never want any of it to go past the next morning, so those car rides home, on your own, were spent sleeping, without an ounce of regret.

It was never anything special but it was fun and it was enough for what you wanted in those months, impatient in the waiting game.

—Perth, WA, 27 June 2017

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Leaky Shower Head

I’m in bed, listening to the sound of a leaky shower head coming from the bathroom and I’m thinking about you. I think back to that night we shared and how I took my time with you because I wanted that moment to last forever. I remember what it felt like to kiss you and then want to kiss you again and again because once was not enough.

I’m trying to understand why every night before I fall asleep you are my last thought. I wonder if you were different from the rest. I feel as if you were because the way you made me feel—was a comforting warmth; you made me feel like I could be completely myself. And now I don’t know why I can’t sleep and I’m trying to decide if it’s that leaky shower head or the thought of you.

—Perth, WA, 23 June 2017

One Night

See now, the problem is, she has a lot of love and affection to give and no one to give it to. And so, with the help of rum-fueled bloodstreams, she finds her way through dim-lit bars, searching for lust-filled connections, because there’s no way she could ever find love. Not real love. Not in this way, anyway.

The men she finds may not be perfect but they’re sweet and they’ll do. They’re all she needs for one night. One night to let herself go, to escape from people telling her no. One night to feel a little more.

—Perth, WA, 22 June 2017

We Stay a Little Longer

We stay a little longer. We forget about responsibilities, forget about what we have to do and where we have to be. We stay because there's not enough time in this world and we've yet to invent a time machine, because if we could freeze this moment, we'd stay in this bed, talking and touching, existing between these sheets.

—Perth, WA, 22 June 2017

This is All Happening

We defy the signs because we know in our hearts, the only thing that matters is living a life to tell stories. So, we block our ears from outside noises and chase those nicotine dreams we’ve been speaking of for years. We chase them with youthful naivety and liquid eyes of liquor. We chase them freely, without a care.

This is all happening. They don’t know what’s coming.

—Perth, WA, 21 June 2017

Closer

We try to get closer
Filling up spaces
Leaving no mystery
To be found.

Knowing the dip in your spine
And the scars you’ve made,
Knowing the tattoos you find
And the freckles on my face.

—Perth, WA, 21 June 2017

Her Own Person

With tired eyes and sweaty thighs, they held each other close, keeping warm underneath a shared blanket. In between sleepy sighs and quiet laughs, they reminisced on last night. Her fingers travelled along his back, exploring the shape his skin made. He was not her type but he was sweet, telling her nice things. She let none of it go to her head. History had taught her to stay wary of compliments spoken in bed. For that reason, she found a balance between unattachment and affection. She cared for him through touch and nurtured words then walked away alone—unexpectant and confident; her own person.

—Perth, WA, 18 June 2017

Think Twice

Think twice before you press your lips against a writer’s.
Once you do, your touch will not be forgotten.
No matter how hard they try, you will never leave their mind.
There is danger in that.

—Perth, WA, 16 June 2017

 

Do It

Do it      because
you are scared.
You may feel weak
in this moment
but you will know
your strength
in the end.

And it will     end.

—Perth, WA, 14 June 2017

But Now

Since you’ve come back
I’ve been thinking about      time
and how funny it is that
we could be so wrong
for each other
back then
but now—
so        perfect.

—Perth, WA, 13 June 2017