Europe with the Family Part IV

My visuals of colourful 70’s swirls and patterns quickly turned grey. I started thinking about how much I didn’t want to close my eyes anymore. My inner voice was saying, “I want to be in reality.” So, I opened my eyes and stared at my surroundings. Suddenly, a wave of sadness fell upon me and tears welled up in my eyes. Loneliness had hit me and the voice in my head repeated the words, “I’m so lonely. I don’t know who I am.” I needed to be on my own and experience this trip alone. I went into the bathroom, looked at myself in the mirror, and burst into tears. But then I started to analyse my face. It was me but a different version of me. Is this what I really look like? I asked myself. I checked the small make-up mirror on the side and I looked different again. I started laughing at that version of me. I kept switching from the bathroom mirror to the make-up mirror, laughing at myself. Then I started to notice the dust particles and a sapphire crystal light that had formed in one of the glasses on the bench. I needed to sit down. I slowly sank to the bathroom floor and stared at the fascinating picture show that was now happening with the condensation that remained on the metal bin. When the horses stopped galloping on the bin, I walked out and stood still at the window, staring at life outside. I wanted to be out there. Out in the world.

To be continued . . .